Sunday, January 15, 2012

Food Bank Friend

So, as much as I hate to talk about somebody behind their back, I just have to rant about one of my friends here. He doesn't read blogs anyway, and I know this because he doesn't even read real books, much less a blog - not that I'm worried he'll find out I talked about him on here or anything. This guy is the same friend who told me he'd get back to me about the Food Bank, and never did. And yes, it's safe to come to the conclusion that I hold grudges when you read this blog post. 

Let's call this friend of mine Patrick. He's 16, my age. This is his social life: he goes to the mall EVERY WEEKEND. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday if possible. His mom has to give him at least $20 every time (and yet, he wonders why he can't travel on vacations like other people can - if he didn't spend $60 every weekend, maybe he could go travel), and drive him there and pick him up. He lives close-ish. The mall's across the freeway from his house. Plus, his mom does so much for him, and yet he treats her like shit. Whenever she picks me up from my house to go somewhere and she tries to talk to me, he yells at her to shut up. If she comes over to my house to pick him up early, he yells at her to leave. She showed up at our school to see him in the choir concert, and he pretended he didn't know her. How rude to treat a mother that way, right? 

That's not all. Patrick, two other friends and I were going to go celebrate the last day of freshman year at a fancy restaurant. We had made these plans a couple of months before the last day of 9th grade. A week or so before the last day of freshman year, Patrick tells me that he, Brian and Cassie were invited to a party on the same day as our celebratory dinner, and that they'd most likely go to the party. I was not invited to this party. As is expected, I got a little pissed off. So, we made a compromise - the party was supposed to start at around noon, since that was the time we got off from school on the last day - they'd go to the party until 5, and then we'd go to our dinner. Everybody agreed to this compromise. So, on the last day, I'd practically starved myself because this was a fancy, expensive restaurant where an average meal was like, $60, and I didn't want to just not be hungry when we went. It was 4:30 - I was supposed to pick them up at 4:45. I had showered and was already dressed, and was about to leave to pick them up. I get a text from Patrick, saying they refused to leave the party, that they didn't want to go anymore. Of course, this REALLY pissed me off, because we'd all agreed to this. We could've gone later, but we would have had an 1 hour + wait and I was really really hungry and I knew they'd been given pizza or something at the party, so I didn't go and be the only one eating, you know? And Cassie and Bryan are the kind of couple who start making out the minute we have to wait for anything. How embarrassing would it be to go to a fancy restaurant and have to wait next to friends who are groping each other nonstop? Plus,  I couldn't go another day because I was going out of town two days later - and anyway, going another day is besides the point. Our plans were for June 2, not the 3rd, not the 8th, or any other day. And they didn't even apologize! I think that's what angered me the most - that they didn't have the decency to at least apologize or try to make plans for another day - they were just like, well, if you don't want to go eat with us, we'll just go somewhere without you. 

That had just been the second time Patrick had ditched me (I didn't really care much about Cassie & Bryan because we weren't as close). The first was when he'd gone to the movies to see a movie that I'd really wanted to see without me, in revenge for me going to see a movie with another friend (but I'd promised I'd make it up to him) Since then, he's hung out with my other friends without me numerous times. 

Then, in September or October, I'd ranted to him a little bit about what a gossip our friend Hannah was. I didn't say anything mean, just how it bothered me how she'd gossip about everybody, even friends, behind their backs and worse. How she'd whisper secrets in Patrick's ear and when I asked what were they talking about, they'd just say "long story". Yet, Hannah always wants to know all of my secrets. He was the only one I ranted to. At his birthday party, Hannah made a really snide comment to me, and I walked a little farther away to call my mom about it - she had wanted to know right away if Hannah did anything mean. Patrick and Hannah had confronted me together to know who I was talking to. I said "none of their business." After that, Hannah stopped talking to me completely, and would give me these really dirty looks whenever I walked by. She turned all my friends against me and made it so bad that I had to sit somewhere else at lunch. I knew Patrick had told her what I'd said. He has a big mouth, always had. I shouldn't have ranted to him. 

There's a lot more than that, but I won't say any more about Patrick. I just needed to get that out of my system once and for all. I hope you don't judge me too harshly over this - besides, I'm not talking bad about him, just what he's done to me in the past. It's not the same as talking smack about someone, right? Except for that first part about him & his mom. But it's the simple, plain truth. 

So, the question is, what should I do about Patrick? Ditch him or keep him? 


  1. You can tell a man or boy in this case if he's good or bad by the way he treats his mother to how he would treat you. I know he's not your boyfriend but I think the same rule applies. And anyway before I knew your question I was going to comment ditch him. He could have some problems with his mother. I don't know how she's like or whatever... but he ditched you. He's a jerk and he totally took all your friends away for lunch. Your other friends don't seem to be nice either. That Hannah needs to be ditched too but you might want to talk to her before and gain some peace of mind. I'm not sure about that and how she'll react but you might want to think about it. You know you said nothing wrong. I'm sorry about all this. It sucks ):

  2. His mom has been nothing but nice and supportive and generous. She gives all of his friends rides to and from the mall, gives him money to do whatever he wants whenever he goes to the mall, and she's always buying him presents and stuff. He gets whatever he wants from her, so there's no reason he should be treating her the way he does.
    It was actually Hannah who took all my friends away, but he went right along with her, and was the reason for Hannah's anger toward me. Well, actually, with Hannah, about a month of not speaking to me and giving me dirty looks, she started hugging me and gossiping to me again and pretending that nothing was wrong between us. A bit bipolar-ish, right?
    Also, Patrick is one of those kids who instead of trying to solve an issue he just says "Ok I have to go bye!" I just hate that about him. It gets me frustrated.

  3. Wow, that's weird... maybe she felt bad..? She really does sound bipolar.. Since she's hugging you now maybe you should try talking to her. I mean it could happen again and you don't need a friend that can just decide to stab you in the back... really weird situation.

    Patrick is such a guy. It's unfortunate you can't talk to him or trust him for that matter. I feel sorry for the mom. But she lets him walk over her by giving him so much money. She sounds like she's a nice person though.

  4. Maybe she felt bad, but it's so these days, sometimes she'll be really nice, the next she'll be cold and distant. I know I should talk to her, but sometimes, with her specifically, things are better left alone. She can be really intimidating, kind of bully-like intimidating, you know what I mean?
    But the thing is, I'm pretty sure Patrick's gay, so he acts almost like a girl...maybe this explains his behavior?
    I know, Patrick's his mom's problem but sometimes she'll complain to my mom about him so that kinda bugs me.

  5. Just keep your distance then with Hannah.
    That kind of explains about Patrick. Maybe he's just lashing out because of that. That makes sense.

  6. I suppose, but it's not like he doesn't have friends or anything. He actually does have a lot of friends. And a lot of them actually tease him about his gay-like behavior, so I don't know why this happens only with me.

  7. Just his general attitude towards me.

  8. Maybe how you act. You sound more serious. Like your more mature in some ways that others are not...? I mean not many people like to volunteer at a food bank.

  9. I've been told I'm more mature than most others my age, but I mean, it isn't the first time Patrick & I have gone to volunteer at a Food Bank. We both went in November and we both thought it was pretty fun. I mean, all we did was put stuff in boxes.