Thursday, February 16, 2012

Why I Hate the Dentist

Who doesn't hate going to the dentist? NO ONE. That's because dentists are universally disliked by all children, teenagers and probably most adults. There's many many different personal reasons why someone may hate their dentist, but the general reasons are the same for everyone. I personally hate those dentist assistants (I don't even call them nurses) who attempt to talk to you while her hand is in your mouth, looking for God knows what. 

For me, going to the dentist goes like this. Normally, I go with my siblings, and when we arrive, we wait in the small, kid-friendly waiting area. There are some ancient arcade games that we can play (although I liked them when I was younger, I don't care for them anymore.) The assistant calls us in altogether, except for mom, who's supposed to wait in the waiting room. I know what you're thinking - why would the mom wait in the waiting room rather than go in with her kids? Their rationale for this is that kids would cry less if the mom wasn't around. It personally makes me more frightened to be alone in there with weird dentist people. And also - PEDOPHILES. They are like, a different species of human, I swear. When they're talking dentistry stuff to each other, I understand none of it. It's like, speak English please. I'd like to know what on Earth is up with my mouth. They take photos of your mouth with this special camera thing, and then they wash your mouth, or vice versa. Then the dentist personally checks your mouth, and this is the part I get most anxious about, because my dentist is STRANGE. I try to avoid eye contact or communication with him whatsoever while he's roaming around in there checking on other patients, but when he calls me up for a personal check-up, there's no avoiding him. He sings my name, calling me from the little TV room where I am absentmindedly watching PBS Kids. I guess this may soothe other kids, this singing technique, but at my age, it's just considered weird. Plus, he doesn't say my name right. You'd think after sixteen years he'd get how to pronounce my name correctly, but nope. 

Today, I went to the dentist. Everything went according to the paragraph above. The dentist repeatedly sings my name. I go on up to his medical torture chair where I know he will stick metal torture devices in my mouth. I just want to get this over with and go home. There's an assistant next to him. He moves his medical instruments in my mouth, while he says random shit like MO and MOL on 20 and blah blah blah, and all I want to scream is JUST SPEAK ENGLISH! TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY! He chastises me for not flossing enough, as he probably does to everyone, and then he lets me go. Then, at the end, he calls my mom in for a brief summary of his findings. Apparently, my gums are "swollen" and that I was the worst of the three siblings, even though I brush my teeth more regularly than they do. I don't even have any cavities! Then he calls me lazy! My mouth drops a bit on this. I ask him about my wisdom teeth and whether I should get them removed or not, and he's like "Why do you want 4 more teeth if you don't even take that good care of the other ones?" and in my mind I'm like "I didn't want them anyway, I was just asking!" 

By the way, hope everyone had a great Valentine's Day, or as I like to call it, Single Awareness Day! It's almost ironic how the initials spell out SAD. Ciao! :) 


  1. he sounds weird. i don't like going to the dentist but at least mine isn't weird. :)

  2. I know right? I tell my mom he's a serial killer in disguise as a regular-ish person, but she just laughs it off. I swear, I wouldn't be surprised AT ALL if he really was a serial killer. Although it'd creep me out big time if it was true, but then again, it wouldn't, because I'd known it all along.

  3. Kids who want to be dentist probably like dentists.

    How rude! What was that!?

    At least you have something to do while you wait! And at least you don't have to wait for your brother to be finished. I mean come on!!! And then I'm super self conscience about my teeth. And I don't like pain...

    You might be brushing to hard...?

  4. Lol, probably. There was a time when I wanted to be a dentist, but I changed my mind.

    I know! My dentist is so mean to me :(

    I can be really intolerant to pain sometimes. Especially with my mouth. My mouth is pain-sensitive.

    I don't think I'm brushing too hard, it doesn't feel that way to me. But maybe...